For the last two months i have been documenting our family's evening activities, and below are just a few of the entries. Has "Got a Minute, Eat With Me" changed our lives? You be the judge.
Wednesday November 24, 2010
on this, the third day of this new family experiment, I must say i am noticing subtle changes already. My oldest son's nervous tic is now almost undetectable, as he figures out that this experiment is not some giant government plot to eliminate electronic devices entirely from our daily lives, my wife has been coming home a bit earlier these days, i suspect in order to head off the terrible havoc i have already wreaked on her kitchen and it's utensils through an attempt to make our "sit down" dinners, and my youngest son responds on only the second or third attempt to speak to him.
Tuesday December 12, 2010
today i saw success with my own eyes, as it took a full 2 and a half minutes for the children to turn on their phones, computers and TVs after dinner.
Friday January 7, 2011
a true day of firsts. the first time ever my oldest son volunteered to help with the dishes. the first time ever my wife told me i was correct. The first time ever my youngest son ate everything i cooked.
Monday February 14, 2011
one year ago today, if i had asked my children to "Give mom and dad a little time alone" for Valentine's day, they would have disappeared faster than the speed of light. Tonight they seem to be offended, asking me "Could we just sit down for a short dinner together first?"
Go figure.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
you might be my kinfolk...take the test
This whole "Got a Minute" thing has me so wound up about getting closer to family, i thought to myself, "Self, i wonder if there are any of my kinfolk around that i have never met?" One thing is for sure, we are a peculiar bunch, the Whittens, and there are surely one or two tell tale signs you might be my kinfolk. Below is a short "check off" list, and if you think you might be related to me, just go through this small list. if you answer yes to 2 or more, we just might be kin folk after all.
1. If you have eaten chinese food while traveling with your family in your car, you might be my kinfolk.
2. If you've ever had the "Heimlick Manuever" performed on you while eating dinner after realizing the 350 pound biker at the table is your daughter's new boyfriend, you might be related to me.
3. If you have ever spit milk out of your nose as your son casually told you that he plans on living in a cardboard box under a bridge when he grows up, you might be kinfolk.
4. If you have ever accepted a "Student of the Month" award for your kid because she was temporarily "expelled" from same said school, you might be kinfolk.
5. If you've ever had two or more children supended from school on the same day for seperate incidents, you probably are my kinfolk.
6. If you have ever dug a 2 inch nerf ball out of your 4 year old son's nose after he did a "Magic Trick" at the dinner table, you might be a relative of mine.
7. If you've ever watched your old hound dog swallow a whole ear of buttered sweet corn that he stole off your plate while you were saying Grace, you are surely a realtive.
I could go on, but i'm sure by now you know if you are my kinfolk or not.
As "Got a Minute" winds down, I can tell you it has changed my family, and in many ways it has made us closer. I believe it is now easier for my children to bring more sensative issues up, and the dinner table has proven to be a great venue for these voices i probably would have otherwise never heard.
1. If you have eaten chinese food while traveling with your family in your car, you might be my kinfolk.
2. If you've ever had the "Heimlick Manuever" performed on you while eating dinner after realizing the 350 pound biker at the table is your daughter's new boyfriend, you might be related to me.
3. If you have ever spit milk out of your nose as your son casually told you that he plans on living in a cardboard box under a bridge when he grows up, you might be kinfolk.
4. If you have ever accepted a "Student of the Month" award for your kid because she was temporarily "expelled" from same said school, you might be kinfolk.
5. If you've ever had two or more children supended from school on the same day for seperate incidents, you probably are my kinfolk.
6. If you have ever dug a 2 inch nerf ball out of your 4 year old son's nose after he did a "Magic Trick" at the dinner table, you might be a relative of mine.
7. If you've ever watched your old hound dog swallow a whole ear of buttered sweet corn that he stole off your plate while you were saying Grace, you are surely a realtive.
I could go on, but i'm sure by now you know if you are my kinfolk or not.
As "Got a Minute" winds down, I can tell you it has changed my family, and in many ways it has made us closer. I believe it is now easier for my children to bring more sensative issues up, and the dinner table has proven to be a great venue for these voices i probably would have otherwise never heard.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
my family and my Uncle Butch
My uncle Butch Passed almost a year ago, and he is now consantly again in my thoughts at any given moment. i thought i would share with you all what i felt on that day. This is what family is about. This is what we are trying deperately to preserve. i know it is long, but it is from my heart, and worth reading.
My first memories of Uncle Butch were as he came home from Viet Nam. I was 11 years old, and Butch looked so much like a soldier all lean and mean, stepping out of a government vehicle driven by another soldier in charge of getting him away from the war and back to his family up on Paint Rock Mountain where he grew up. I was almost scared to go up to him, with his Marine hair and his loud baritone voice. Within minutes he was calling me Bobby and I was hanging on every word he spoke. That bond only grew stronger over the years.
The next memories of Butch were in Grandma Marie’s driveway, him and Uncle Virgil playing music for us until the wee hours, old country ballads that still haunt my memories. From that moment I wanted to be a singer, I wanted to pick a guitar like him, and from then on music would be mixed with everything I did. Memories of Butch and Aunt Ellen singing old Johnny Cash songs together are still vivid, reminding me of what binds and ties our family together.
Uncle Butch went from the tragedies of war to a music career, playing in a band in and around Paris, Arkansas, playing rodeos in Arkansas and Oklahoma. Soon he got a weekly gig on the radio, and everyone knew him as “Cowboy Buddy”, the man with a golden voice and a personality that just wouldn’t quit. Everyone knew him, and I was so proud to be his nephew.
And as I drove to mother’s house to give her the terrible news about her brother, I drew from his strength, and he was just over my shoulder as I told mom. And his songs ran through my mind over and over. Songs like “The Old Rugged Cross” a song I last heard him sing to my Grandpa Aub as he laid in a casket awaiting the final trip to Paint Rock cemetery. Songs like “I Overlooked an Orchid While Searching For a Rose”, a song My Grandpa Vaughn sang to Grandma Marie when Butch was a child.
And I watched from the front row as hundreds of his friends said goodbye to him for the last time. And I cried silent tears as we carried him to the hearst and took the slow ride back to the cemetery up on Paint Rock Mountain.
And I was so proud of Butch as the trumpet played and his fellow marines folded his flag and presented it on bended knee to my cousin Jack, his son. I will never forget how slow the salute came to the marine’s brim. I will never forget the words from Brother Carter’s mouth as he told of a man he knew very well.
Too many times we have made this trip. Too many times I have walked through those gates. I’m tired of watching mother cry, and I hope not to ever see that again.
Still, through all the sadness that cemetery hill has brought upon my family, still it draws me to it like a magnet every time I get close, for this is my Grandma’s resting place, and it holds within its gates my heritage, my roots, my family.
Too late are my words to thank Butch for what he has done. He lived life to the fullest, and we all grew up wanting that energy he had, that musical talent and that way he had with people. Through him we know that music is intertwined in everything we do, calming us in times of tragedy and lifting our spirits when we are feeling low. Through him we know how to love with all our hearts. Because of him, we all have a bond that will only get stronger with the years.
Butch is in Heaven now, but he will remain with us forever in our music. I would imagine he is at this time leaning against the pearly gates with a gold inlaid Martin Guitar, playing another song for the angels as they Ask him “Just one more song, please?”
Rest in peace Uncle Butch. Soon we will all be together again forever, playing the music you taught us.
My first memories of Uncle Butch were as he came home from Viet Nam. I was 11 years old, and Butch looked so much like a soldier all lean and mean, stepping out of a government vehicle driven by another soldier in charge of getting him away from the war and back to his family up on Paint Rock Mountain where he grew up. I was almost scared to go up to him, with his Marine hair and his loud baritone voice. Within minutes he was calling me Bobby and I was hanging on every word he spoke. That bond only grew stronger over the years.
The next memories of Butch were in Grandma Marie’s driveway, him and Uncle Virgil playing music for us until the wee hours, old country ballads that still haunt my memories. From that moment I wanted to be a singer, I wanted to pick a guitar like him, and from then on music would be mixed with everything I did. Memories of Butch and Aunt Ellen singing old Johnny Cash songs together are still vivid, reminding me of what binds and ties our family together.
Uncle Butch went from the tragedies of war to a music career, playing in a band in and around Paris, Arkansas, playing rodeos in Arkansas and Oklahoma. Soon he got a weekly gig on the radio, and everyone knew him as “Cowboy Buddy”, the man with a golden voice and a personality that just wouldn’t quit. Everyone knew him, and I was so proud to be his nephew.
And as I drove to mother’s house to give her the terrible news about her brother, I drew from his strength, and he was just over my shoulder as I told mom. And his songs ran through my mind over and over. Songs like “The Old Rugged Cross” a song I last heard him sing to my Grandpa Aub as he laid in a casket awaiting the final trip to Paint Rock cemetery. Songs like “I Overlooked an Orchid While Searching For a Rose”, a song My Grandpa Vaughn sang to Grandma Marie when Butch was a child.
And I watched from the front row as hundreds of his friends said goodbye to him for the last time. And I cried silent tears as we carried him to the hearst and took the slow ride back to the cemetery up on Paint Rock Mountain.
And I was so proud of Butch as the trumpet played and his fellow marines folded his flag and presented it on bended knee to my cousin Jack, his son. I will never forget how slow the salute came to the marine’s brim. I will never forget the words from Brother Carter’s mouth as he told of a man he knew very well.
Too many times we have made this trip. Too many times I have walked through those gates. I’m tired of watching mother cry, and I hope not to ever see that again.
Still, through all the sadness that cemetery hill has brought upon my family, still it draws me to it like a magnet every time I get close, for this is my Grandma’s resting place, and it holds within its gates my heritage, my roots, my family.
Too late are my words to thank Butch for what he has done. He lived life to the fullest, and we all grew up wanting that energy he had, that musical talent and that way he had with people. Through him we know that music is intertwined in everything we do, calming us in times of tragedy and lifting our spirits when we are feeling low. Through him we know how to love with all our hearts. Because of him, we all have a bond that will only get stronger with the years.
Butch is in Heaven now, but he will remain with us forever in our music. I would imagine he is at this time leaning against the pearly gates with a gold inlaid Martin Guitar, playing another song for the angels as they Ask him “Just one more song, please?”
Rest in peace Uncle Butch. Soon we will all be together again forever, playing the music you taught us.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Mom's famous chili, her internet is down so she will never know.
after being confined to our home for two days straight, the wife, the kids, the dogs and the cat, i have been contemplating moving South. Just kidding, i think we live in the most perfect part of the World, with a taste of all four seasons, a river near by and some of the most beautiful scenery anywhere.
That being said, last week was kind of crappy. One of the meals we cooked up while we were confined to our home was Mom's famous chili. Her chili will bring in kinfolk from hundreds of miles. Just the mention of that chili sends me salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs after the bell has rung.
The last time i gave away one of her recipes, she kind of snapped on me, but, not to worry, her internet is down and she will never read this blog.
i hope.
Grace's chili
Brown together:
3 pounds ground beef
3 large onions, cut in half, then into thick slices
3 cloves garlic, minced
add:
3 packages chili seasoning any brand to taste
2 Tspns chili powder
pinch salt and pepper
2 cans sliced tomatoes undrained
1 can chili beans undrained
1 can pinto beans drained (reserve juice)
add to taste at end
Bring to a boil and simmer, uncovered, over low heat for an hour or two. stir occasionally. Add bean juice as needed, but it should be thick. Salt and pepper to taste.
Serve with bowls of chopped onions and grated cheddar cheese, along with crackers and big hunks of cornbread baked in a buttered iron skillet.
This in one of my favorite recipesMom says it is a passage into winter each year, and also it says "i love you" to her children. it brings me back to a time when all six kids and two parents ate together every night, talking over the day and planning our weekends together.
I do miss those days.
That being said, last week was kind of crappy. One of the meals we cooked up while we were confined to our home was Mom's famous chili. Her chili will bring in kinfolk from hundreds of miles. Just the mention of that chili sends me salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs after the bell has rung.
The last time i gave away one of her recipes, she kind of snapped on me, but, not to worry, her internet is down and she will never read this blog.
i hope.
Grace's chili
Brown together:
3 pounds ground beef
3 large onions, cut in half, then into thick slices
3 cloves garlic, minced
add:
3 packages chili seasoning any brand to taste
2 Tspns chili powder
pinch salt and pepper
2 cans sliced tomatoes undrained
1 can chili beans undrained
1 can pinto beans drained (reserve juice)
add to taste at end
Bring to a boil and simmer, uncovered, over low heat for an hour or two. stir occasionally. Add bean juice as needed, but it should be thick. Salt and pepper to taste.
Serve with bowls of chopped onions and grated cheddar cheese, along with crackers and big hunks of cornbread baked in a buttered iron skillet.
This in one of my favorite recipesMom says it is a passage into winter each year, and also it says "i love you" to her children. it brings me back to a time when all six kids and two parents ate together every night, talking over the day and planning our weekends together.
I do miss those days.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Where did the kitchen go??
Well folks, my computer is back from the dead, so first order is to update the blog. I am just finishing up a week away from work, a much needed break from the rat race we call the Clinton Herald. While on Vacation, i decided to try my hand at installing granite countertops in the kitchen at home, something i will never try again. That stuff really is heavy. After two days of securing, transporting, cutting and carrying this rock,i have no feeling in my fingers, but i sure do have feeling in my back.
With everything torn up in the kitchen, we have been eating on the fly, ordering in, or going out for dinner, and it has been difficult keeping the "Got a Minute" promise, but we are still on track. Wednesday was our wedding anniversary, so in between ripping the old countertop out and sweeping up dirt, we managed to get some chinese food and sit down in the dining room for supper. Our oldest son has come back to the roost of late, so the conversation is a little more lively, what with the siblings arguing and all.
i do believe, through the "Got a MInute" campaign, we have slowly become closer to our children. I can also see the cahnges in them. they have come to enjoy our sit down dinners, and i think they look forward to them now. These are the things we need to be doing if we want to keep our kids out of trouble.
With everything torn up in the kitchen, we have been eating on the fly, ordering in, or going out for dinner, and it has been difficult keeping the "Got a Minute" promise, but we are still on track. Wednesday was our wedding anniversary, so in between ripping the old countertop out and sweeping up dirt, we managed to get some chinese food and sit down in the dining room for supper. Our oldest son has come back to the roost of late, so the conversation is a little more lively, what with the siblings arguing and all.
i do believe, through the "Got a MInute" campaign, we have slowly become closer to our children. I can also see the cahnges in them. they have come to enjoy our sit down dinners, and i think they look forward to them now. These are the things we need to be doing if we want to keep our kids out of trouble.
Monday, January 10, 2011
what does purple hair and a vibrating chair have to do with family dinners? read on.
We took a trip into the big city last weekend. My wife found a bluegrass concert in Evanston, il. on saturday night. we kind of decided to call that our Christmas present to each other, and i booked a room back in December, reserved the tickets, and we were all set. driving into Chicago with me can be exhausting at times. you see, i know how to keep up with the city folk, it's in my blood. When the road opens up to 3 lanes, i immediately become more aware of my surroundings. When i see 4 lanes wide in front of me, i start seeing spaces in traffic that a normal person doesn't see. i make moves that require me to know within one inch of where my back bumper is. No, people don't yell at me, they just look at me like "I can't believe you just did that." then they always look away and avoid eye contact. They can't tell whether i am crazy or just being dumb. My wife, on the other hand, can tell you i am just turning into a 17 year old boy again, something that happens every time we go on a trip.
Meals can be more difficult when the family is on the road. We ate at the Dekalb Oasis on the way out, but it was not without distractions. From the guy with the purple hair and nose ring who took our order, to the elderly woman who kept putting dollar bills in the Vibrating Chair, there was plenty to watch. i don't think we broke the "Got a Minute" rules, though. We didn't watch a TV and we did eat together.
We had a nice sit down dinner after the show at IHOP, a great place if you are ordering pancakes. Not such a good place to order steak and mashed potatoes. Just sayin...
We did have a great time, and i knew it was a success when i heard my 10 year old on the phone with his buddy. "It was awesome!" was all i had to hear to know.
Meals can be more difficult when the family is on the road. We ate at the Dekalb Oasis on the way out, but it was not without distractions. From the guy with the purple hair and nose ring who took our order, to the elderly woman who kept putting dollar bills in the Vibrating Chair, there was plenty to watch. i don't think we broke the "Got a Minute" rules, though. We didn't watch a TV and we did eat together.
We had a nice sit down dinner after the show at IHOP, a great place if you are ordering pancakes. Not such a good place to order steak and mashed potatoes. Just sayin...
We did have a great time, and i knew it was a success when i heard my 10 year old on the phone with his buddy. "It was awesome!" was all i had to hear to know.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
you never get too old for your mother to set you straight
You never get too old for your mother to holler at you, i guess. Mom chewed me out good this weekend for telling people i was underfed on myu blog. Anyone who knows me now would never believe it. Well, just to get mom back a little, below you will find another one of her "secret" recipes. i'm not worried, mostly because after my last post, she probably won't read me any more.
Let me tell you a little more about my mother. She raised six children. That should be enough to impress. She didn't just bring us up. She brought us up to dream big and anything could be within reach. Mom taught us about good manners and to be respectful of others. She taught us to be different, to stand out in a crowd, and she showed us how to care about others.
Mom also started her writing career while raising us. As i turned 17, mom became a single mother, with still three children under me at home, living on a shoestring budget. Yes, mom is tough and very resourceful when it comes to her children, but i haven't told you the best part.
Mom did much of her work from the kitchen and dining room. She was our therapist, our mentor, our parent and our friend, depending on what we needed. She was always cooking or writing, and when i sat down, she would listen to me. That may sound small, listening, but it can be very difficult focusing on only one child when there are five other children pulling her in other directions. Many a time i can remember her solving my problems from across the dinner table.
The dinner table was mom's desk, and the kitchen was her office. That may be what is disappearing from families these days, and i guess that's why i am passionate about this subject. we just don't spend enough time with each other, my family and me. that needs to change, and we are starting at the dinner table, because that's how mom did it.
Grace's Cheesy Potatoes
32 oz package frosen hash browns, thawed
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups sour cream
1 can cream of chicken soup
2 tablespoons fresh or dried minced onions
1 tspn salt
1 tspn pepper
2 cubes melted butter, divided
2 cups crushed potato chips
mix all ingredients together except potato chips and 1 cube of the butter. Spread in a 9" x 13" baking pan or 2 square pans. Mix potato chips and the other cube of melted butter and spread on top of the potatoes. One can of pringles works great and sometimes i use the sour cream and onion flavor. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or so until the casserole is turning light golden brown. this recipe serves 8-10 people.
Let me tell you a little more about my mother. She raised six children. That should be enough to impress. She didn't just bring us up. She brought us up to dream big and anything could be within reach. Mom taught us about good manners and to be respectful of others. She taught us to be different, to stand out in a crowd, and she showed us how to care about others.
Mom also started her writing career while raising us. As i turned 17, mom became a single mother, with still three children under me at home, living on a shoestring budget. Yes, mom is tough and very resourceful when it comes to her children, but i haven't told you the best part.
Mom did much of her work from the kitchen and dining room. She was our therapist, our mentor, our parent and our friend, depending on what we needed. She was always cooking or writing, and when i sat down, she would listen to me. That may sound small, listening, but it can be very difficult focusing on only one child when there are five other children pulling her in other directions. Many a time i can remember her solving my problems from across the dinner table.
The dinner table was mom's desk, and the kitchen was her office. That may be what is disappearing from families these days, and i guess that's why i am passionate about this subject. we just don't spend enough time with each other, my family and me. that needs to change, and we are starting at the dinner table, because that's how mom did it.
Grace's Cheesy Potatoes
32 oz package frosen hash browns, thawed
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups sour cream
1 can cream of chicken soup
2 tablespoons fresh or dried minced onions
1 tspn salt
1 tspn pepper
2 cubes melted butter, divided
2 cups crushed potato chips
mix all ingredients together except potato chips and 1 cube of the butter. Spread in a 9" x 13" baking pan or 2 square pans. Mix potato chips and the other cube of melted butter and spread on top of the potatoes. One can of pringles works great and sometimes i use the sour cream and onion flavor. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or so until the casserole is turning light golden brown. this recipe serves 8-10 people.
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